A woman who claimed that she “can’t even” in response to a video of a baby laughing was, a short while later, surprised to learn that she actually can.
Annabelle Ward, a twenty eight year nail technician and drama queen, made the outlandish claim while scrunching her eyes up, waving her hands and speaking at a frequency so high that only the neighbourhood dogs could hear her.
However, after calming down considerably, Ms. Ward soon realised that she actually could and continued to go about her daily business.
“Well I was just sitting at my computer, confirming appointments, reading spoilers about the soaps, looking at pictures of David Beckham’s crotch and checking my Facebook, just normal girly things, when this video of a totally cute baby laughing popped up on my newsfeed,” explained Annabelle in an exclusive interview with Wunderground.
“When I seen it’s little cute face and the adorable infectious laughter I just got all proper emotional,” continued Annabelle, who has been described as a “wench” by many close associates. “Even just thinking about it now is making me think that I can’t even but it’s alright because I know that I can.”
“After I composed myself and reflected on what I had seen, I came to the conclusion that I’m a strong, independent woman and I can do anything,” claimed Annabelle, who recently called the AA to refill the water in her windscreen wipers. “Plus I was on my own so I really don’t want to waste a perfectly good overreaction when there’s nobody around to see it.”
“I’m also twenty eight now and feeling a bit broody so anything to do with babies, cats, little dogs or anything small enough for me to cuddle really gets me going,” she continued while subconsciously scanning the room for daddy material. “My biological clock is ticking and I’m gonna need someone to shoot a baby into me quickly before my womb is left as useless as an onion bag in a water balloon fight.”
Experts are advising that people who claim they “can’t”, “can’t even”, can’t cope” or “can’t deal” in response to cute, funny or repulsive pictures, videos or memes on social media should be ignored at all costs until they eventually go away.
