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August 21, 2015
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World’s Biggest Underground Rave Discovered Under Kölsch’s Hat

kolsch worlds biggest underground rave

Danish police have shut down, what they described as, the “world’s biggest underground rave”, which they discovered under the DJ and producer, Kölsch’s, hat late last night.

Techno and and head gear trendsetter Kölsch is rarely seen in public without his trademark fedora, which has led to much speculation about the DJ’s head, including theories ranging from premature baldness to a sophisticated drug smuggling operation, all of which have now been put to bed after yesterday’s discovery.

Wunderground spoke to the Danish-Irish DJ earlier today, “I’ve had a really good run of promoting some of the world best underground raves under my hat, we’ve been running twenty four hours a day, seven days a week for the last last five years so, although I’m not happy about being shut down, I will be happy to finally have a bit of a break.”

“It’s also a bit of a relief to finally have the truth about my hat out in the open,” continued Kölsch, real name Rune Reilly Kölsch. “Everywhere I go people have constantly been asking me ‘what’s up with the hat?’ or asking to see underneath it but I’ve always had to say no or tell lies about it so I’m really looking forward to being able to be open about the reasons behind my hat and even being able to go out without wearing it. I’m sure my head will be pretty cold at first but no doubt I’ll get used to it sooner or later.”

“The only thing I’m really going to miss about running the parties under my hat is the constant inspiration that it gave me to make music,” explained the producer. “I’ve been telling people that I have music on my mind 24/7 for years now, and it’s been true I really have had music on my mind 24/7, but that’s not the case anymore. As a musician I’ll probably still have music on my mind quite often but I’m worried that without the parties the number of productions I make will slow down.”

According to unconfirmed reports from the dance music world, the parties that were running under Kölsch’s hat are currently looking for a new location, the odds on favorite being Paris Hilton’s brain, which is believed to be one of the emptiest and most unused places in the industry.

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