Young Woman Who Had One Night Stand Catches Sluttiness
A one night stand has reportedly left a young woman horribly infected with a bad case of being a slut, according to doctors in charge of the fallen woman’s care.
Jessie Lambkin reportedly had a spring in her step and felt sexually and emotionally gratified to be in full command of her sexual life, all of which claim doctors are symptoms of her now being an absolute slut.
It is believed that the only cure for her slutty carry on and to put her back into her place is to widely vilify her as a harlot by repeated doses of name calling and ostracism which doctors say works best when delivered in a pique of jealousy.
“We’re recommended that she be treated through a wide range of gossip and disdainful name calling both online and in person,” confirmed Dr. Maurice Jenkins from the Association of Professional Double Standards. “After a few years of stigmatization in the local area she will probably be cured.”
The slut disease, which only affects women, is especially caught by women who express their sexuality in a healthy and consensual way and is believed to be caused by the entrenched societal view of promiscuous women as sluts and manifests itself on the walk of shame.
The sex life of a woman in which she has a lot of sexual partners is widely expected to leave her with a mature and adult understanding of herself as a happy sexual being, something which doctors fear may be permanent.
“If only we had admonished and demonised her sexual exploration earlier then she wouldn’t have had to replace all those happy years of guilt and shame for some disgustingly normal sexual adventure,” warned local priest Fr. Desmond.