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April 19, 2014
1 min read

“You’re All A Shower Of Cunts” Shouts Angry Drunk Man

An angry man has offended the entire world by shouting a string of insults while drunkenly walking home after a night out.

It is understood that the man in question was upset by an earlier football result and choose to vent his frustration on random passers by while drunkenly stumbling through the streets of Birmingham city centre.

Michelle Cannon, a victim of the verbal assault had this to say, “I was just walking home from work minding my own business when it happened.”

“I heard him shout ‘You’re all a shower of cunts’ and I thought to my self ‘surely he doesn’t mean me?’ but when I looked at him he was swinging a pointed finger and it clearly came my way before moving on to the next person,” she painfully recounted.

“I really don’t know why he’d think I’m a cunt, I’m a nurse who works with sick children, I always thought I was alright but now I’m going to have to totally re-evaluate my opinion of myself. I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m actually a cunt,” she admitted while fighting back tears.

Fellow victim, and self titled ‘cunt’, Raj Ashkani, also spoke to Wunderground about the incident, “That guy really had my number, I am a total cunt.”

“It was kind of creepy really, it felt like he was looking directly into my soul and he was a bit old looking too so you couldn’t really tell if he was just a drunk or some sort of psychic wizard,” offered the cunt. “I’m going to have to be a lot more careful with my cuntish behaviour from now on, if that guy can tell I’m a cunt surely my wife will be able to tell too.”

The tirade of abuse is reported to have lasted for about five minutes and included other slurs such as, ‘pack of wankers’, ‘good for nothing bastards’, and ‘cock sucking dick weasels’, before the man finally got distracted by a bin which needed a good kicking.

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