EDM is set to receive a lifetime achievement award at this year’s International Dance Music Awards, or the IDMA, after it was officially declared as the best thing for keeping twats away from real dance music over the last ten years.
The annual awards ceremony, now in its thirty first year, will be held during this year’s Winter Music conference in Miami between 21 -24 March.
IDMA spokesperson Simon Noble spoke to Wunderground about the genre’s achievements, ”There’s been a lot of EDM bashing from certain sects of the industry over the past ten years and, to be perfectly honest, we’re completely sick of it. So, in order to try and bring a bit of sanity back into our scene, we’ve decided to award EDM with the lifetime achievement award at this year’s ceremony.”
“For most people, clubbing and going to festivals has a lifespan of about ten years,” explained Noble. “So a lot of people who are going to parties now, apart from hardcore oldschool ravers and people who work in the industry, won’t be able to remember what the parties were like ten years ago, before EDM drew all the twats away from the real dance music events.”
“It was a tough time, the line between shit commercial crap and good underground music was a lot less clear than it is today,” he continued. “Which meant you could get a really broad demographic of people showing up at parties. You’d have the cool avantgarde techno crew and the fluorescent vest wearing jocks, and everything else in between, all packed into the same room, which could lead to all kinds of difficulties over the course of an eight hour rave.”
“Thankfully those days are gone and the difference between underground and commercial has never been bigger,” claimed Mr Noble. “Now you can go to a real dance music event and not have to worry about some juiced up meat head trying bump chests with you half way through a set and we owe it all to EDM.”
“Even though the music is shit, the DJs are frauds, the producers are ghosts and the crowd are uneducated twats, it’s fair to say that EDM has done more for the industry than anyone or anything else that’s around today.”
According to experts, other things EDM has been good for over the last ten years include; creating jobs, MDMA sales, deciding who not to sit beside on public transport and giving a sound track to Russian drone strikes.
