Producer Who Sampled Entire Song And Released It As His Own Wins Nobel Prize For Balls

A young producer who works under the name of DJ Balzac has painstakingly sampled Diana Ross’s Chain Reaction bar by bar and released it as his own track – a feat which has resulted in him winning this year’s Nobel Prize for Balls.

The bootleg has lead to some success for the brazen sampler in his home town, where he now has a regular gig in his local pub, The Queen’s Arse.

We caught up with DJ Balzac as he set up for his gig last night and asked him about the honour of winning the award with previous winners such as Evil Knievil, Steve-O and anyone who’s ever placed their penis through a toilet cubicle glory hole.

“Yeah, I’m happy with the result,” said the young DJ and “producer”. “I mean, it’s a great song anyway, so of course the result was going to be good.”

“The award means a lot to me. I’ve never been commended for my balls before, it’s just great to have them recognised internationally.”

He will be honoured with the Nobel Prize for Balls this coming weekend in Oslo City Hall, where the dignitaries from both the Nobel Institute itself and luminaries from the world of dance music will gather to celebrate his absolute brazen thievery of another artist’s music.

The Nobel prizes themselves includes the Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel Prize For Physics and this year the Institute has added the Nobel Prize for Balls following some incidents this year that “warranted an award for an unashamed display of balls”.

According to a spokesperson for the Nobel Prizes, Magnus Susegg, the rejection of Scottish Independence by the Scottish people, the purchase of Luis Suarez by Barcelona and the hiring of Mel Gibson for the Expendables 3 showed a particularly gratuitous display of balls by the parties involved.

“However,” Mr. Susegg said today, “Sampling an entire track by another artists and releasing it as your own takes more balls than all three of those combined.”