Computer-voiced brain in a wheelchair, Stephen Hawking, the smartest man on Earth and Mars™, is set to sue electronic disco group Daft Punk for copyright infringement claiming that unauthorised samples of his voice appear in at least everyone of their songs.
“It’s actually me singing the main hook on Face to Face from Discovery,” emitted Stephen. “I was actually singing it to a really tough equation on the existence of black holes which was being too demanding, not a human person who I think are puny and not nearly half robot enough for my intellect.”
Mr. Hawking says he was initially approached by Daft Punk about collaborating on the Discovery album and that he was impressed by their robot suits and agreed but claims that once they learned that they could use a vocoder to replicate Mr. Hawking’s voice they cut him out of the project in spite of using a lot of his creative work.
“Any time I approached them about it they’d just run away faster than I could catch them or up some stairs,” added Mr. Hawking before accidentally espousing at length about the size of the universe after mistakenly selecting the wrong set response on his on-board computer.
“I wrote and sang the vocal on Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger,” continued Mr. Hawking, “it was an ode to my new wheelchair at the time. It’s actually kind of embarrassing, I look back on that track and cringe because that model of chair is now wildly outdated.”
Daft Punk have so far not responded to Mr. Hawking’s claims but sources close to the French duo insist that they will respond to the accusations by releasing a small statement ahead of this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live which will be a snippet of a much longer response believed to be set to the music of their smash hit Get Lucky and will even feature hat-wearing super-prick Pharrell on statement reading duties.
