It has been reported today that 35 year old clubber, John Maxwell, from Manchester is still struggling to decide on what he wants to do when he grows up. John, who has been clubbing since his early teens, recognises that he still has some time to choose a career but that time is really starting to run out.
“It’s getting serious now, I’m not getting any younger,” offered John. “Everyone is entitled to a couple of years of letting their hair down after the stress of end of school exams and I’m no different, but since I finished school in 1996, it’s about time I got serious.”
John claims he’s been working in odd jobs since his teens but hasn’t settled on a particular career as of yet. “Well I’ve worked in an office for about fifteen years,” explained John. “First as a temp, then as a permanent member of staff, and now I’m a manager in charge of regional sales.”
“But that’s not really what I see myself doing for my actual career,” John insisted. “This job has always just been about mucking around for the €45,ooo a year pocket money, company car, health plan and engrossing work environment while I figure out where my real passions and skills lie. I certainly don’t want to be doing this adequately paid, secure job for the rest of my life.”
“It’s self evident that I’m growing up, puberty is well and truly over and I’m not a kid anymore,” stated John obviously. “I’ve got to start making my own decisions and forge my way in the world and that means starting my career. It’s scary but exciting.”
“I don’t really know what sort of job I want to do. It’s tough, I’m interested in lots of different things,” John queried. “A lot of friends have gone off to college, about 16 years ago, but Mum says I shouldn’t go to college just because my friends went but because I want to go.”
“Of course my parents are delighted to get me out of the house,” he continued. “But they’ll worry about how I’m doing. It’s entirely natural that the child needs to leave the nest at some point so they can be a proper adult.”
“I’ll have to sit down with Mum and Dad for a long talk about my future,” John said. “I’m sure that once I’m off doing my own thing I’ll know that I can pop around to Mum and Dad’s to get washing done. And I know my room will always be there so that’s a nice safety net to have.”
“We’re delighted that John has turned out so well and we’re excited to see him take his life to the next stage of independence,” declared John’s father, 65 year old retired salesman, Peter. “But he’s a big boy now, there comes a time in every 30 something year old’s life when you’ve got to show some tough love and cut the apron strings. He’s had his fun at the rave shows and all that nonsense, it’s time to buck his ideas up.”
John concluded by saying that he has begun searching for a career and while he’s still not settled on a specific role he thinks that he’ll try to find a role that is related to his interests so is looking for “something to do with T.V., art, music, videogames and events although not specifically selling or making anything but writing or watching stuff so long as it’s well paid, a company car and nice hours with plenty of holidays.”
“Can’t be too hard to find,” he added.
