The management of London nightclub, fabric, has today announced the venue will be reopening this year, but with strict guidelines.
The world’s most famous venue, which plays host to the best house and techno DJs on the planet, has decided to proceed with a 36 person capacity, confirming circles will be drawn on the floor for people to spend their night in.
“We have exhausted every idea” said club manager, Ryan Green. “36 circles distanced correctly means at least some people can come along on a Saturday night and listen to some great music.”
Other restrictions include the bar remaining shut indefinitely, the lights on full brightness to ensure nobody moves from their circle, and of course a one-way system from circles to cubicles, because, well, you know why.”
“Whilst it isn’t ideal, we are proud to be the first major rave venue to reopen” continued a very proud Ryan. “Our first event is this October and already at full capacity. We have Marco Carola playing and he’s bringing 35 slags with him.”
Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.