Following the recent omission of Rule Britannia from the Proms, it has been confirmed by a number of major news outlets that the divisive British song is set to be replaced by an actual British banger for 2021.
“Show me a person who hasn’t jumped in the air and tried to make an S with their finger, and I’ll show you a fucking liar” screamed Tony Popscotch, as he giddily announced S Club Party will be the headline track for years to come.
“This iconic tune will bring people of all ages, religions and political beliefs together” continued Tony. “Want to see Bradley swing? Want to see Rachel do her thing? Watch the Proms in 2021 and you bloody will.”
Having broken up in 2003, S Club 7 has performed in recent years as a three-piece at Butlins 90s weekenders, however, this global announcement has most people believing a full reform is on the cards with the lure of thousands of middle-aged Brits waving little flags too big an opportunity to ignore.
Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.