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September 29, 2016
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4 Out Of 5 Teenage Girls Don’t Know What A Smile Is

The world’s leading online mobile photo sharing social network, Instagram, have revealed that four out of five teenage girls don’t know what a smile is.

The shocking statistic was revealed after Instagram asked a percentage of their top users to identify different facial expressions in a recent questionnaire.

“We’re involved in a constant battle to find out more about our members and what makes them tick,” explained Instagram’s chief analyst Brian Small. “And we’re constantly putting different questionnaires to our top users to keep the information flowing, our most recent asked people to identify a series of different facial expressions.”

“As you’d expect, most of our users were able to correctly identify most of the facial expressions we put to them,” continued Mr Small. “However, shockingly, we found that eighty percent of girls aged between twelve and seventeen had no idea what a smile was, most of them said it was an ‘upside down frown’ or a ‘weird tooth display’, yet when we put a picture of a pout up they said it was a ‘happy mouth’ or a ‘photo face’, it really is strange.”

According to smile expert Julia Roberts, the current “duckface phenomenon” is responsible for the reduction in smile number among teenage girls.

“I’ve been smiling for as long as I can remember,” claimed 90s pin up Roberts. “I can’t wait to flash a big toothy smile as soon as I wake up in the morning, it’s literally one of my favourite things to do. I really don’t understand why girls today are distorting their face with a big stupid duckface pout. I suppose it’s a bit like a stupid eighties hairdo, eventually they’ll realise how stupid they look and regret the countless selfies they took.”

Experts are predicting that if the current rate of duckface continues in the young female population women’s lips will evolve into a “duckbill shaped mess” over the course of the next two hundred thousand years.

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