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50% Of World’s Memories Now On Instagram

50% Of World’s Memories Now On Instagram

A massive fifty percent of new memories being created in the world are now stored on Instagram, according to research carried out by Time magazine.

According to the research, today’s younger generation see Instagram as a “limitless online memory bank” and no longer feel the need to fully commit moments from their life to their memory.

Instagram account holder Amy96 spoke about her generation’s obsession with Instagram, “It’s totally awesome, all my friends use it. The best thing about it is that it’s always there. You never need to worry about forgetting anything with Instagram, except your password, lucikly I’ve had mine tattooed on my wrist so I know all my memories are never more then a click away.”

“There’s just so many things to remember these days, I really don’t know why anyone would want to have all that stuff floating around their brains clogging up space for important stuff like watching box sets, bitching about girls in your class or taking selfies,” explained the high school senior. “If it’s not happening in the immediate present, I don’t want it in my brain, that’s what Instagram is for.”

“Sure, it’s nice to remember happy times in your life but brain memories are lame compared to Instagram memories,” claimed Amy96. “Who wants to a have a vague, foggy memory of something lovely that happened when you can have a high definition video or photo of the memory. Most good things happen when you’re drinking too so without Instagram you’d actually lose those memories for ever.”

“It’s also a lot more accurate. Who actually remembers, from their head, what they had for dinner on the twenty sixth of June 2013?” she asked. “Not many people but with Instagram I can pretty much tell what I had for dinner on that day.”

“It was lollipops and beans,” she added.

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According to evolutionary biologist Professor Charlie Wardin, the transition of memories from our brain to Instagram is part of a gradual “dumbing down” of the human race.

“This is called the “goldfish theory” and essentially it means that without the trigger of a picture or video, like those found on Instagram, we won’t be able to access long term memories in our subconscious,” continued the Professor. “This could have a negative impact on our every day lives. Imagine the stress caused by trying to remember birthdays or anniversaries every year, that shit’s hard enough already, or having to rediscover how bad Avicii’s music is on a regular basis. It just doesn’t bear thinking about.”

According to research the current rate of memories being uploaded to Instagram could result in all human memory being located on the internet by 2055, leaving humans as “blank, expressionless drones unable to take joy from moments in their past, like a drug addict or an EMO kid”.

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