50% Of World’s Pineapples Now Contain Cocaine

The latest statistics from the food industry suggest that approximately fifty percent of the world’s pineapples now contain large quantities of cocaine.

The shocking statistic comes after another shipment of cocaine-filled pineapples was intercepted by police, this time en route from Costa Rica to Ireland.

Interpol spokesperson Nelson Diaz spoke to Wunderground earlier, “Yet another large consignment of cocaine concealed in hollowed out pineapples and destined for the streets of Europe has been intercepted by our agents, this is a very big result in our war against drugs and criminal elements operating in the Northern Atlantic region.”

“The pineapple switcheroo has become the smuggling option of choice for these gangs and we currently estimate that up to fifty percent of the world’s pineapple could now contain cocaine,” continued Diaz. “We are appealing to everyone in the areas affected by these finds to be extra vigilant when buying pineapples as you could end up with a lot more than you bargained for when you get them home.”

European sources have confirmed that while the cocaine-filled pineapples have been removed from society, there is still fear that the pineapple flesh removed could make it’s way to Europe.

“We might not have to worry about cocaine but the last thing we want is an influx of illegal pineapple chunks making their way onto our streets,” confirmed one concerned Irishman. “For all we know, our children could end up eating that pineapple, on pizzas, and that’s just wrong. Something needs to be done about this straight away.”

Experts are predicting a sharp rise in demand for pineapples across all major European cities as opportunistic drug dealers try to capitalise on any drug filled fruit that may have slipped through the authorities’ grip.