A study carried out by the University of Amsterdam has revealed that ninety percent of trips made to the toilet by clubbers on nights out are drugs related.
The study examined the toilet habits of patrons of ten of the city’s most popular nightlife destinations and has thrown light on the extent of the drug culture now associated with clubbing.
“We were expecting drugs to feature quite highly in the study’s results,” confirmed Professor Mike Van Ginkel of the University of Amsterdam’s Sociology Department, “but we never expected the number to be anywhere near ninety percent. That was a real shock.”
“Naturally we thought people would be using the toilets for normal things like pissing, shitting, getting sick or giving and receiving blowjobs,” continued Van Ginkel. “Although surprisingly these were some of the lowest reasons for people to visit the toilets, only adding up to a combined total of around three percent.”
“A lot of the time people would pretend to be going into the toilet to actually use the toilet,” explained the professor. “In many cases we’d see people queuing for anything up to twenty minutes to get into a toilet cubicle only to go in snort a small amount of white powder and then leave, often flushing an unused toilet before they left.”
Boris Kipp, a toilet attendant in Amsterdam’s Trouw nightclub, also spoke about the level of drug use in nightclub toilets, “Everyone’s using toilets for taking drugs these days. Sure people still use them to piss at the start of the night but generally speaking once the drugs kick in the only ass holes and dicks you see in a club toilet are American tourists.”
“It’s brilliant people tip so much when they’re fucking high man, those druggies are putting my kids through college.”
“Drunk people are messy,” claimed Mr. Kipp “They want to fight and steal but people on drugs are so nice, sometimes they just want to come in and talk to you and give a tip, if everybody gave up drinking and took drugs the world would be a much nicer place.”
Other uses for the toilet which featured in the study included taking selfies, making phone calls, masturbation and smuggling drink.
