Music News

99% Of Americans Don’t Even Remember What EDM Was

According to a recent study by Billboard magazine, ninety nine percent of American’s don’t even remember what EDM was, with the one percent exclusively made up of EDM producers, DJs and promoters still trying to make a living from the musical version of baby vomit.

Marcel Waters, Billboard’s chief of research, claims that most American’s believed EDM was an “arms manufacturer” or “something to do with the election” when questioned on the subject.

“It’s really fascinating how quickly people have forgotten about EDM,” explained Waters earlier. “I guess that’s what happens when you stop shoveling something down people’s throats like cow intestines into McDonald’s burger mix. It’s probably still around just repackaged as some other horseshit genre.”

“Some of the answers we got were really entertaining,” confirmed Waters. “Apart from arms manufacturers and something to do with the election, we also got things like STI, and actually a whole range of diseases, the new Porsche model, a bank, some sort of heating system and a variety of Dutch cheese. Some of them weren’t too far from the truth.”

Wunderground also spoke to Chad Hogan, a former EDM bro, to find out his take on EDM, “What’s that? Sounds like something to do with the election to me,” UFC fan Hogan told us. “It does sound familiar. I’m not really into anything, apart from what the internet tells me is cool, so I forget about things as quickly as I get into them. It could be anything I suppose.”

In related news, when asked if they knew who Steve Aoki was, the majority of American’s thought he was the puppet from Dan Bilzerian’s ventriloquist show.

To Top

Send this to friend