It has been revealed that no less than ninety nine per cent of women who attended the Circo Loco closing party at DC10, Ibiza, were seen wearing chokers, claiming it is this year’s “must have” Ibiza accessory and that only a “basic bitch” wouldn’t have one.
With the party lasting over twenty hours and over two thousand women passing through the doors of the club, one onlooker described the event as “filled with women” looking as though they were trying to “disguise severe vampire attacks”.
“I thought Robert Pattinson had been to town and wooed all these dizzy birds,” laughed twenty four year old, Jacob Spalding. “I don’t know the first thing about fashion, but if every single girl is wearing the same accessory, making them look like they are trying to hide some naughty love-bite, that can’t be good, can it?
“I guess Kim Kardashian, Whoopi Goldberg, Nina Kraviz or Hannah Montana must have worn one over the past few weeks as these fucking things have become all the rage. I swear I saw one girl almost choke to death on hers. She must have had an extra small one because it was cutting right into her skin. It looked like it was made from barbed wire.”
Wunderground managed to speak to Leanne Smith, who happened to be in attendance at the closing party with fifteen of her closest girlfriends and had this to say on the in-demand fashion item, “Oh my God, we just love them,” she told us. “All of us are wearing them. They look so good don’t they? It’s like being part of an elite club for the stylish. I swear, if it wasn’t a health hazard, I would wear mine to bed. Obviously I don’t want to strangle myself in my sleep though, so I just draw one on with eyeliner. It means when I go to the bathroom during the night and catch my reflection in the mirror, I still look amazing.”
