The upcoming Calvin Harris EDM comedy currently in development at HBO is expected to accurately portray “absolutely no aspect of dance music culture, clubbing or clubbing history” according to absolutely everyone who has heard about the show.
The show’s list of creators also includes a list of musical luminaries such as Jay Z and Will Smith, two men in their mid forties with absolutely zero knowledge of dance music, further cementing the idea that the show will barely be on nodding terms with relevancy to dance music fans.
“People are being critical,” explained Calvin. “They’re saying that the show won’t speak to the common clubber and that it’ll just be a rosy tinted wank fest centred around the pitfalls and foibles of being an internationally recognised, knob-twiddling, multi-millionaire.”
“And to a certain extent that’s true,” conceded the Acceptable In The 80s singer, “but what common clubbers will be able to do from watching the show is aspire to make money off prostituting commercial dance music and living the superstar DJ lifestyle, just like me.”
“The show will finally make the, I think you’ll agree, much needed risky look at how difficult it is to be rich and famous,” explained Calvin, “but in a funny, distasteful and boastful way. It’ll also offer me a chance to resurrect my plummeting public image.”
“HBO has been known to make grittily realistic shows, like Entourage,” he continued. “That’s the style that we’ll be going for with this show. It’ll essentially be a young Scottish DJ who rides on the crest of the EDM wave in ‘Merica and gets into hilarious japes on the way, such as like people not understanding his accent, how to smile convincingly while fulfilling interview obligations or having to have sex with several women at once, you know hilariously realistic scenarios that are relevant to aspiring DJs everywhere.”
“We’re hoping that the comedy will rely on easy generalisations, innuendo and slapstick like an even crasser version of super successful money machine and comedy benchmark, Two & A Half Men,” he concluded. “I really can’t go too into specifics about the plot, casting or setting but most likely it’ll be a fantasised and out of touch version of clubbing culture, in a beautiful location with equally unrealistically beautiful people.”
