A Facebook grammar Nazi, who has spent the last three years annoyingly correcting people’s grammar on the social network and other media platforms, is said to be considering a full scale invasion of Poland.
The self proclaimed Führer of the grammatical world has highlighted Polish people as having the worst grammar in Europe and believes an invasion could help to cure their grammatical downfalls and act as an excellent gateway to the rest of Europe.
The young man, originally from Austria but now based in Berlin, is said to be outraged at the levels of bad grammar, spelling mistakes and text speak that are clearly visible in forums, social network sites and other areas of the internet.
The grammar Nazi, known only as Adolf H92, made his claim while responding to a Facebook comment where a Polish national misused an apostrophe when talking about two cats.
He stated, “Jesus Christ! You Polish people don’t know how to fucking speak English! Cat’s means that something belongs to the cat, if you want to talk about two cats it’s just cats. I should invade Poland and teach you all a lesson you’ll never forget, in grammar.”
The Polish defense forces have released a statement indicating that they ‘couldn’t give a flying fuck’ about the threats made by the grammar Nazi and that he will be dealt with severely if he makes any attempt to cross their border illegally.
Michael Sergant, a Professor of English at Cambridge University has also been analysing the threat made by Adolf H92, “To be honest I’ve been looking over some of his posts and it’s clear that he’s not really the grammatical authority he claims to be.”
“He constantly makes empty threats and simple grammatical errors when posting on Facebook, I really don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about with this guy,” he said confidently.
“He’s what is known as a keyboard warrior. I’m sure he’d attack Poland if it was possible to do it from behind a computer screen probably while cowering behind his father or suckling his mother’s tit,” he added. “But that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”
“I think it’s fair to say that this particular grammar Nazi is more of a DJ Sneak then an Adolf Hitler. We can all sleep soundly safe in the knowledge that he’s full of hot air.”
Oh come on Wunderground, you can do better than this. A poorly done war reference and yet another DJ Sneak reference to make the music fanatics happy? Puh-lease!
Very, very unconsidered comparison… I’m not even going to read your shitty story. Was this meant to be hilarious or something? I bet you can’t write a single word in Polish so shut the hell up and think first. “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates; At the first gate, ask yourself, is is true? At the second gate ask, is it necessary? At the third gate ask, is it kind?”