Wunderground has learned that a local promoter has recently been finding it increasingly difficult to feign interest in the promotion of his own gigs. Despite insisting that he “can’t wait for this one”, Niall Sullivan aka DJ Sullo, is unsure how his upcoming event, due to be headlined by Mr. C, will perform.
The revelation comes almost 3 weeks after a Facebook event launched by the 34 year old to promote the event has failed to amass more than 37 confirmed attendees, despite having invited all 414 of his friends. Other comments from the promoter on the event wall such as “this is gonna be BIG” and “roll on next Friday” have also failed to impress.
“I’m not really sure what to think to be honest,” revealed the clearly addled promoter. “Typing ‘big’ in all caps is usually a sure fire way to create buzz, but it’s just not working anymore. Plus Mr. C is a legend, that gig should have sold out by now like. ”
Niall went on to tell us that he’s been following the exact same promotion formula he’s used for years and cannot understand why it’s not working anymore. “I don’t know, it’s weird. I’ve done everything by the book. Lined up some close friends to support, got my cousin who’s good at computers to do up a wicked poster, a real flashy one, and I’ve been posting about it on Facebook at least 3 or 4 times a day since the launch.”
“I’ve been making sure to use all of the current DJ words like ‘vibes’, ‘buzz’, ‘whopper’, ‘spicy’, and I don’t even know what that one means.”
Unfortunately Niall’s techniques have been falling on deaf ears, or partially deaf ears at least. A close friend and former reveler revealed, “I do my best to support the guy. I have since he started running gigs in the early noughties, but there comes a time when you’ve just got to move on with your fucking life, you know? I’ve done my time sweating my way around murky basements, necking pills and robbing drinks.”
“A lot of my friends, me included, have come to the realisation that there are actually other things to do with your weekend. Things that don’t involve a desperate mid-morning dash to the off license or an unexpected, awkward phone call with a family member. I’ve learned that I quite like going to the farmer’s market in Dun Laoghaire the odd time and have even found spending time with my girlfriend a bit more tolerable of late.”
“I can’t get my head around it,” offered Niall. ‘All my mates used to be out in full force for my gigs. I mean, that time I warmed up for Seb Fontaine in 2001 there must have been at least 10 or 15 of my closest buddies there. All of them with tops off, eyes bulging, just going for it you know? They all seem to be too preoccupied with mundane shit now like their mortgages and their children. Seems like I’m the only one who can hack the sesh anymore.”
Niall claims that he has at least considered not booking acts that reflect his own personal tastes and has looked into booking more current artists that are of actual relevance to the constantly evolving scene that is dance music in 2014.
“I just don’t see that working,” he despairs. “It’s a tricky business this dance music, but there’s one thing I know for sure about it. It’s cyclical, like an 8 bar loop or recessions. All these fancy new genres like ‘Detroit House’ and ‘Chicago Techno’ will have their day in the sun, but the glory days of trance and hard-house are coming back, I can feel it. Failing that? I don’t know, at least I’ve got my day job. And by that I mean dole money, but I suppose I could resort to starting up a Disco night.”
The promoter concluded by saying that he’d “just smile and nod politely” through the next few gigs in the hopes that people think he’s having a good night and not “dying a bit inside”.
