A young stoner has admitted that he probably won’t be going out this weekend despite there being a number of gigs that he’d like to go to and promising his friends that he’d join them for some drinks.
David Madden (24) broke the news earlier today, “It’s safe to say that I probably won’t be going out at all this weekend. I’ve got two different types of weed and a lump of pollen that I need to smoke before it’s time to buy more next week.”
“I told a couple of my friends I’d go and meet them for pints tonight,” he explained while packing a bowl full of AK47, “but there’s this really obscure Japanese anime about sexy robots that I’ve been watching,” he continued before taking a long slow draw on his bong.
“I’ve only seen it three or four times before so I’ll probably just stay in and watch that with a spliff or two,” he said through a cloud of thick smoke.
“I might still go out on Saturday night though. There’s a gig on in town that I really want to see,” suggested the glossy eyed Mr. Madden, “but to be honest by the time I get up, get dressed, have a cup of tea and get stoned it’ll probably be too late to go anywhere.”
When quizzed on whether smoking weed had killed his motivation to interact with other people, Mr. Madden answered, “No definitely not, I still have a very healthy amount of interaction with other people.”
“I’m always on Facebook and every time someone sends me an event invitation I accept it, I’ve never actually gone to one of the events but I nearly always plan on going,” he continued defensively.
“There’s also my drug dealer, the guy on the other end of the phone in the Chinese take away and the delivery guy,” He claimed. “So not only am I interacting with people I’m also embracing other cultures and helping to make society more multicultural.”
“I’d actually consider myself a highly motivated person, I never don’t have any weed, I shower at least three times a week and I’ve finished Grand Theft Auto V four times now. I’ve also even been thinking about getting a real job recently,” stated the stoner.
“I just need to save enough money to get over to Amsterdam and get set up in a coffee shop and I’ll be sorted for life.”
