Jamie Jones has shocked his fans and rattled the hairdressing industry, while speaking at conference on men’s fashion in Coventry earlier this week, by revealing that he uses a team of small animals to style his hair.
The Hot Creations boss made the starling admission after being asked how he “kept his barnet so sweet?” by an audience member during a questions and answers session.
“I’ve been using a team of small animals to style my hair for years now,” claimed Jones. “They give me a really professional finish and I don’t have to pay the extortionate rates, or listen to the same mundane small talk over and over again, that I would with a regular hairstylist.”
“I first started using animals to style my hair as a teenager after I fell asleep in a field on a holiday to Greece,” explained the Welshman. “I woke up with a goat licking the top of my head and I just couldn’t believe the hold and volume the goat’s saliva had on my hair. I’ve not seen a hairstylist since.”
“Nowadays I have a whole team of goats, lambs, puppies and even an otter to work on my hair,” he revealed nonchalantly. “I have them all highly trained, their licks and spit get me just the look I’m after and they hardly ever shit on the floor these days. I also have a small bird that sits on my head and plucks any grey hairs he can find every day, which really is a commitment that no other hairstylists offer.”
In other related news, livestock purchases amongst London’s hipster community are said to have rocketed by a whopping two million percent in the last forty eight hours.
