Wundergroundmusic.com gives you a roundup of all the best stories you Mayday weekend revelers might have missed…
1. Dragon’s Den Contestant Arrested After Asking For £100K To Buy A “Shit Load” Of Cocaine : A contestant on the popular BBC TV series, Dragons’ Den, has been arrested as part of an international drug syndicate, after trying to use the show to fund a major drug deal.
2. Hero Pigeon Shits Into Calvin Harris’s Open Mouth: A Heroic young pigeon has today been honoured for its contribution to humanity after it took a dump directly into the open mouth of EDM star Calvin Harris from 30 metres in the air.
3. Confused Guy At Party Can’t Remember What He Was Talking About: A young party goer has been left in a severely frustrated state after completely forgetting what it was he was talking about, whilst partying over the Mayday bank holiday weekend.
4. Young People Getting Majority Of Exercise Dancing At Raves: The increasing sedentary work environment has ensured most young people receive the vast majority of their exercise by dancing at all night raves.
5. I Had Sex With Avicii And My Cunt Caught Fire”: A young woman has spoken about the trauma she endured when her cunt caught on fire after having sex with EDM star Avicii, in his hotel bedroom at the recent Ultra music festival in Miami.
6. David Guetta Replaced By Life Sized Cardboard Cut Out Of Himself For Upcoming Tour: EDM superstar David Guetta has announced that his upcoming tour will be performed exclusively by an extremely life like cardboard cut out of his own body.
7. “Ghost Producers Are Haunting My Hollywood Mansion” Claims An Emotional Avicii: A recent Mixmag interview questioning EDM superstar Avicii about the role of ghost producers in the current EDM industry has uncovered that the Superstar’s mansion is in fact haunted by a number of ghost producers.
