Doctors have confirmed that the first ever death from ‘smugness’ took place in Brixton in the early hours of the 12th May.
The victim, Oliver Robinson, (a liberal arts student at Central St. Martins University) was said to be popular amongst his peers for being “different by nature” and having a self described “vehemently in-depth music knowledge ranging from Django Reinhardt to Hauschka”.
Chris, a witness and scarf wearer, described the incident: “Well it was just like any other night. We were listening to Oliver’s vinyl record collection and he was playing his favourite Frankie Knuckles track. (I can’t remember which one because we obviously hadn’t heard it). I asked him if he could play ‘Your Love‘, to which Oliver responded, ‘That popular song is a foot note in the Godfather of House’s career'”.
With that he farted, but instead of recoiling or acting embarrassed it was noticed Oliver took a “sharp intake of breath” presumably to savour the taste. Almost instantly Oliver fell to the floor, his eyes closed as his lips curled into a “satisfied smile”.
“At first we thought he had fallen asleep out of self gratification,” stated Chris, “but even shouting that Disclosure were the best deep house dj’s we knew wasn’t enough to stir him. That was when I knew it was serious.”
Paramedics rushed to the house but Oliver was pronounced dead on the scene. Patricia, Oliver’s girlfriend was particularly upset at the irony as “Oliver was always ahead of the scene”.
Daily Mail journalists were disappointed to learn that the overdose was not actually from drugs, as it limited their ability to plaster misinformed scare mongering to their audience.
