Native Instruments Unveil Miracle Pill That Turns You Into DJ

World renowned music technology manufacturers Native Instruments have today stepped up their ambition to turn everyone alive into a DJ by releasing a special pill which they claim has the power to instantly transform anybody who takes it into a DJ.

“This pill has been a proven creator of DJs for years having already turned thousands upon thousands of young people into DJs,” claimed a Native Instruments spokesperson at the unveiling of the pill, which has been tentatively called Ekstasy. “The compound within the pill is a psychoactive drug which turns formerly normal young people into dance music loving, rave having, school drop out of-ing electro DJs.”

The pill, which Native Instruments claim is not only similar to MDMA but is in fact exactly the same, is thought to begin working immediately and will turn a young person into a DJ within “about the first hour” or “half hour if you double drop”.

100% of people who take this pill will either become DJs or lifelong dance music fans who will support DJing culture and that works out perfect for us,” added the spokesperson who claims that the pills will be given away free in every Native Instruments product from September.

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“I took it at a time when I was only just getting into dance music,” gushed former experimenter Sasha. “It changed my life and my career trajectory completely, once I took this there was nothing else I could have been other than a DJ.”

“At smaller doses the pill is capable of turning the person into a dance music fan by making them want to dance and making the subtle suggestion that dance music is the best genre today and that DJ’s are cool people who it’s appropriate to aspire to become.”