With his Germanic look, his stern facade and his evil genius haircut, it is no surprise that Sven Väth has been cast as the villain in the new James Bond flick.
Dubbed “Dr. Maybe” by the production team, it will see Bond go up against a group of bankers determined to rule the world. The team insist it is indeed fiction and is not based upon current world events.
Väth himself will play the head of the evil organisation, who sources say will be known by an acronym which, when spelled out, proves the writers tried very hard to make it into an acronym. One source suggested it may be LESBIAN, or the League of Evil Secret Bankers Internationally Allied Now. Other sources suggest it may be something better than this.
The script is set to see Bond take on some daring stunts, with one scene in particular paying homage to Väth’s DJing career by seeing him capture Bond and strap him to a huge rotating vinyl, which will have lasers hung above it, suspended in the mouths of evil crocodiles. Prior to the release of this detail, the producers have confirmed that it will indeed hark back to the Roger Moore era, rather than be in-keeping with the current Daniel Craig incarnation.
The producer informed us that Väth has had to take time off from DJing to attend ‘Evil Laugh Vocal Coaching’ which he is being taught by the one and only Simon Cowell. “He’s an evil bastard. When he laughs, you can hear it. We didn’t want a dodgy out of date Bella Lugosi style evil laugh, we wanted the real thing.”
The producer further explained that Väth will have quite a large role in the movie, indicating he may begin the movie as an ally to Bond, with a twist seeing him become an evil banker half way through, corrupted by the success of his one-man loan-shark operation which he runs from the basement of his home in Sinisterre, Bavaria.
Väth was supposedly overjoyed at the announcement and has been reportedly coiffing and dyeing his hair in preparation for over two weeks now.
