British Prime Minister David Cameron has sent a stark warning to the nation’s parents by indicating that recreational drug use is turning their children into foreigners.
Cameron’s claims, which are based on nothing other than the delusional far right thoughts of a man whose brain has been left soft due to the result of centuries of inbreeding in order to protect the class system, have come as a shock to many impressionable British people, including those who like hunting, attending UKIP rallies and saying things like “it’s time Britain was British again”.
Cameron, who lists his political influences as Voldemort, the Emperor from Star Wars and the character Tory Boy from popular 90s TV sketch show Harry Enfield and Friends, also went on to say that reading The Guardian, voting for the Liberal Democrats, eating kebabs and drinking Guinness were all surefire ways of turning your child into a foreigner and encouraged parents to dissuade their children from taking part in any of these activities.
Peter Samson, a proud British citizen who thinks “foreigners are alright as long as they’re female and good looking”, spoke to Wunderground about Cameron’s warning, “I see where he’s (Cameron) coming from. I’ve a nineteen year old son and he has been acting very strange recently.”
“I’ve been a bit suspicious that he’s been taking drugs for a while now and my suspicions were proved right when he booked a holiday to Ibiza earlier this summer,” continued the concerned parent. “When he got home his skin was way darker than usual.”
“At first I just thought that he’d got a bit of a tan but now it’s clear, he’d been taking drugs and now he’s turning into a bloody foreigner. Next of all he’ll be growing a beard and heading off to fight for the International Space Station or ISS or whatever you call them. I don’t know how I’m going to tell his mother,” he emotionally continued.
Nigel Farage, Cameron’s long term pen-pal, childhood sweetheart and UKIP party leader, has also publicly supported the Prime Minister’s warning, indicating that if the issues of drugs and foreigner and “especially foreign drugs and foreigners with drugs” aren’t tackled immediately Britain will end up over run by foreigners leaving the average British man with no money, no job and no woman, all of which are the first thing foreigners take when entering a new country.
