The EDM community is today mourning the loss of originality which passed away after a long battle with hackneyed ideas that have been done before that began with the release of Daft Punk’s track “Get Lucky” but observers claim that originality had been suffering failing health since the release of MDNA by Madonna.
Originality’s first cousin, thrice removed, reinvention, will take over the family business, and its strategy will include “pushing things forward by bringing it back and then sideways at the same time”.
A testimonial rave is to be held in every major nightclub in the world to honour originality’s memory, and artists everywhere have spoken out about their fond memories of originality while it was still with us.
Phil and Paul Hartnoll, Kraftwerk, Afrika Bambaataa and scores of other electronic artists who knew originality personally have released moving statements after the news broke today.
“We knew originality very well,” said Phil Hartnoll. “We met it first when we were working with limited analogue equipment and were forced to be creative with our approach to sourcing sounds for our music. Originality was always there with us in the studio, forcing us to go the extra distance to make the track into something special.”
One of the Kraftwerk robots made the following statement, “100010001111000111010101,” a statement which saw PCs everywhere respond by having a respectful one minute shutdown.
Afrika Bambaataa’s testimonial to the late, great originality took the form of an old school block party in his hometown of New York, which saw thousands gather in the standard hip hop attire of snapback swag and hi-tops. Bambaataa himself then made a rousing speech about how they were missing the point, and that this was not what originality would’ve wanted.
Those who had known originality personally have been clear that it was always inspiring, that it always broke the rules and it never followed trends.
“Every genre is an innovator, followed by a load of imitators,” said Jimmy D, head of the Originality Memorial Group (OMG).
“Many people have tried to imitate originality, but very few have even come close,” he said.
“A Bird of Prey isn’t worth two in the Kate Bush,” he explained, clearing nothing up for anyone present at the press conference.
With the shocking loss of originality, the memorial service is expected follow the usual conventions of a parade through the streets, glib saccharine speeches and an appearance by Elton John, who had never know originality personally, as his candle burned out (due to voracious cocaine use) long before originality’s ever did.
He made it clear today that, “despite never knowing originality myself, I am more than willing to make a stack of cash off the back of it anyway.”
Originality’s distant cousin, reinvention, made a rousing speech which was cobbled together from samples of one made years earlier by Dr. Martin Luther King.
Now that originality is gone for good, musician everywhere have confirmed that there will be a marked increase in sampling old records, and Bono has confirmed that there are three more U2 albums on the way, all of which will sound just like all their other albums.
