The state of the art 4DSound system recently showcased by Stimming at the Amsterdam Dance Event has been broken “beyond repair” after a one dimensional EDM track was played over the system’s powerful speakers.
The 4DSound system allows artists to layer and physically move sound around a custom built installation consisting of an array of speakers positioned below the waist, at head height and above the head, all housed in sixteen cylinders which divide the space into a four by four grid, creating a brand new listening experience which allows the sound waves to take three dimensional form.
The damage is thought to have occurred after a janitor plugged his iPod into the sound system set up at an exhibition centre and played the one dimensional, commercial EDM tracks on repeat during a routine mopping procedure.
“4DSound just isn’t built to handle the volume of loud, annoying sounds found in the average EDM track,” explained 4DSound developer Paul Ootmen. “It’s specifically designed for house, deep house, techno, break-beat, rock, country, classical and pretty much anything else that isn’t EDM, death metal or the sound of babies crying.”
“The system is powerful enough to take a medium sized building down if it’s turned up high enough,” continued Ootmen. “It could be extremely dangerous if it were to get into the hands of someone like an ISIS commander, Kim Jong-un or Hardwell so, in a way, I guess we’re kind of lucky that the janitor only destroyed the system and not the entire building.”
According to the Dutch Seismic Association a reading of 3.8 was measured on the Richter Scale shortly after eight o’clock yesterday evening, approximately the same time the 4DSound system was destroyed.
4DSound engineer Patrick Van Bergstein, who discovered the wrecked 4DSound system, spoke to Wunderground earlier, “There was literally no recognisable part of the system left when I came in here this morning.”
“From what we can gather the janitor plugged his iPod, which was playing David Guetta’s Bulletproof on repeat, into the system. According to the seismic readings it was the third or fourth bass drop that caused the damage,” continued Van Bergstein. “There was nothing left but three foot of audio cable, the iPod and an image of David Guetta’s face scorched onto the floor where the 4DSound system had been.”
According to Oomen, he won’t be rebuilding the 4DSound system, indicating that “it’s just too powerful for this world” and that he believes the system’s destruction was an “act of god”.
The manufacturers have since issued a warning on their packaging insisting people “stop listening to paint-by-numbers musical effluent on the system” and “cop onto themselves and develop some taste”.
haha