A group of office co-workers from Sheffield, Yorkshire, were left shocked last night after discovering that they each have a similar drug habit during their annual Christmas party.
The small but effective group of colleagues were enjoying an evening of food, drinks and entertainment in a local hotel when the discovery was made.
“It wasn’t long after we’d finished eating our meal that the first signs of drug use started to appear,” claimed John Reynolds, a twenty four year old data analyst. “The wine had been flowing and people were really starting to loosen up. Next off Mark from accounting came in from the toilet with what looked like half a gram of coke hanging off the end of his nose.”
“Everyone went silent and then Billy, the boss, stands up all serious and says ‘Mark I don’t know what that is on your nose but I hope you’re going to share it’ everyone just burst out laughing. It was proper mint.”
Maggie Wright, a telesales operative, admitted she had been going to the toilet to powder her nose every “fifteen or twenty minutes” but once “Billy had made the joke about Mark sharing his stash” everything changed and all of a sudden “everyone was on the bag”.
“It was really great,” continued Maggie. “One minute no one was doing coke and the next everyone was. It was brilliant, like being in the 80s, you know like a Wall Street boardroom or a Blue Peter set? Dead nice.”
“I never would have thought that the people I work with would be into doing coke like I am,” she claimed with genuine surprise. “They all seem so serious when we’re in the office, with their suits and shoes. Who’d have guessed they’re all just normal people like me?”
“At one point I was even letting Steve from the mail room snort off my cleavage. I just hope it’s not awkward when we’re all back in and sober on Monday.”
According to one witness who wishes to remain anonymous, the night took a turn for the worse after an unknown worker gave six people lines of ketamine instead of coke.
“It got really weird towards the end of the night,” claimed the source. “There were people rolling around the floor of the hotel growling and screaming, the young intern took a piss in an ice bucket and Gary from marketing shit his pants. He had to be brought home wrapped in a towel and carrying his shitty trousers in a plastic bag.”
“We were getting some very strange looks from the hotel staff. I don’t think we’ll be invited back next year.”
