A young DJ has restored his flagging credibility by posting a picture of some old vinyls on Facebook along with a caption explaining that he’s having an “old school mix”.
“I’d been picking up a bit of flak recently after I made the switch to USB from CD and then mistakenly arrived for my set in a local club without my USB,” explained Manchester DJ Simon Queen. “I had to use some CDs that I was unfamiliar with and as a result my mixing wasn’t great – thankfully though I played a couple of big tracks to distract from how shit I was.”
“I still knew the only thing I could do to restore my credibility, short of actually using vinyl, was to post a sepia tinged photo of some vinyls along with a caption that said I was playing an old school set in my bedroom,” continued Simon. “My Facebook fans, of which there are 3,000 coupled with my actual friends ensured that my cred was totally restored.”
“I was sure to make it sound like I was having a vinyl mix for sheer pleasure and that not only did I know of dance music made before 2007 but that I had some on vinyl,” confided Simon. “I actually don’t even own any records or turntables but thankfully the Facebook post allowed me to frame the narrative so that I never have to prove that.”
Facebook fans of Simon have responded positively to the post, which garnered nearly 50 likes and even a share, claiming “I’m sorry I ever doubted his old school credentials. This photo completely proves that Sam has a careful respect and appreciation of dance music history. I like him even more now. Extra more.”
“I’m just glad that Simon proved to everyone how much pedigree and commitment he’s got to the scene by posting a solitary photo of an old white label along with him smiling and wearing headphones,” explained one fan. “Now whenever I look at him and think ‘he might be a preening dickhead whose cocky entitled attitude encapsulates everything wrong with local DJs’, I’ll just remember that photo and realise that I’m wrong.”
“As anyone who DJs knows, maintaining a social media presence which portrays you simultaneously as pushing things forward while also respecting tradition, it’s important to use subtle cues that explain those facts by making posts about how you’re ‘working on some beats’, photos of your DJing set up, and maybe a sporadic post of some old vinyl you’re contending to be enjoying playing – as well as the usual constant barrage of self promotion.”
“It’s like when an actor’s career is in a slump and they’ll do a play to restore their credibility in the eyes of their audience – that’s basically what DJs do when they talk about playing vinyl on Facebook.”
Based on the success of Simon’s duplicitous vinyl-only Facebook post he has managed to book a set at a prestigious London club and is expected to commemorate the occasion by taking a photo of himself, his luggage and a cold pint of beer in the departure lounge of Manchester Airport which he will immediately post to Facebook under the caption “London here I come, excited to be playing in London tonight!” to ensure that everyone knows he’s now a successful globe trotting DJ.
“Who knows, I may even complain about the airline,” quipped Simon. “That’ll send me stratospheric.”
