Channel 4 news anchor and saving grace, Jon Snow, has today downed 24 bottles of popular blue piss WKD in a bid to see the effects of alcohol.
The experiment is being conducted to determine the effects of alcohol on the body so middle class people can feel vaguely guilty about their drinking habits following Jon’s pulling a whitey after doing two lungs of skunk this week.
Describing the experience as “yeooooorrrrrwwwwww” Jon claims the potent alco-pop rendered him “hilariously drunk” and caused him to bring a traffic cone home for night.
“The moment it hit my lips I felt transported, I was taken out of the studio and placed in any and all student’s union bars around the country where I fingered women, got refused pints and sang the Kaiser Chiefs, it was the full British student experience.”
Claiming that WKD is rocket fuel and espousing at length about the time Benyamin Netanyahu didn’t like his “yahoo” comment Snow said he’d gladly lash a crate of them into him again and was hoping to mix alcohol with potent skunk when he gets the chance.
“I puked something awful though,” added Jon, “but fuck it, was a brilliant night. Can’t believe I’ve never drank before, it’s a mint buzz.”
Jon went on to claim that the whitey he pulled smoking skunk recently was “for the cameras” and that he “is well able to handle his smoke blud”.
