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Lads Who Claimed “Ibiza Isn’t Ready For Us” Discover It Definitely Was Ready For Them

Lads Who Claimed “Ibiza Isn’t Ready For Us” Discover It Definitely Was Ready For Them

A group of 18-year-old Brits who boasted loudly that Ibiza was not ready for their premeditated debauchery and “laddish antics” were given a rude awakening within two days of arriving on the island and forced to quickly admit “it actually was ready for us”.

The boys had booked the trip on the back of recommendations from their older brothers and from taking movies such as Kevin and Perry Go Large and It’s All Gone Pete Tong as factual documentaries – believing it would be a paradise, guaranteed to provide easy women, cheap drugs and cater to all of their overly hedonistic cravings.

But events that took place before, and during the holiday, have forced the friends into reconsidering the idea that their drunken mob mentality is anything funny and original, or that a foreign country will happily embrace their idiocy and be unable to handle it.

According to the boys’ parents, who dropped them off at Gatwick airport, they arrived with excitement and anticipation, donning t-shirts with ‘Ibiza 2014’ printed on the front and ‘Lads On Tour’ on the back. However, their trip quickly took a turn for the worse as Luke, the self confessed “joker” of the group, was stopped and arrested by airport security after being found to be in possession of 10 grams of ketamine.

“I thought I would be able to sell it out there and make a fortune,” lamented Luke, who is due to be charged for possession with intent to supply.

Within just one day of the group arriving on the party island, they found themselves embroiled in numerous incidents which have quickly altered their perspective on where they stand in life, with regards to their antics in public and etiquette when travelling to foreign destinations.

“I was sold some dodgy pills and passed out before midnight,” said Pat. “Half of us didn’t even get into Amnesia because we tried smuggling bottles of Grey Goose vodka in.”

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The owner of the boys’ hotel told Wunderground he was forced to kick them out with a €1000 fine on the second night, after they desecrated their hotel rooms with broken glass, urine and excrement:

“Never before have I witnessed a group of guys try so hard to live up to a preconceived stereotype of British male tourists, without any sense of irony over how pathetic they are behaving.”

The group have returned home from the trip in dour spirits after they decided to stay in for the remaining four nights of the holiday, recovering from the utter shock that Ibiza actually was ready for them.

View Comments (54)
  • What a bunch of nob heads, glad they got fined and should have been banned from the county and arrested on return for being skanky tossers.

  • after spending several years in britain i can say that you all behave good in your country but as soon as you leave that shithole of a rainy and cloudy place you turn in to down right fucking idiots and you made me hate UK from the bottom of my heart. drugged up fucked up people with no good atmosphere in the club like everybody is wearing a black mask over their face. all you do is work and go home with no sense of life you have all this money but all lack love. freedom over there is limited for you guys you all think you are free but all that CCTV enforcement kinda says differently. so maybe i do understand why do you behave like you do i mean seeing so much sunshine and having all that money in your pocket brings out the idiots in you.

    P.S.-i know wunderground is a satirical made up magazine 🙂

      • Mate I’ve lived in Britain my whole life, and now I’ve been living in Denmark for 2 years.. ‘notgoingback’ is completely right, I love the music house culture in the UK, but other than that, the place is a shit hole, I would rather move to a 3rd world country with a lower standard of living than move back to the UK

        • Ha, I live and was born in the UK and I couldn’t agree more. People tell me I have no right to complain but I say exactly what you did living in a 3rd world country would be better than this.

          • Can’t move because I have no money. Why do I have no money- because the UK system does that to people- most don’t get to move until they are old retired worked all there life. The people here I love it’s the system of the UK that I hate. And that is because as a country we have more than enough money to make everyone safe comfortable happy and educated- instead we use all our money on war. That is another reason why I don’t like UK it’s because of the horrible things our country is doing that most of us don’t even know about in our own name. Also the fact our media and political system is messed up, actions only get promised coming up to elections and none of them actually happen. Our democracy is a con, you have a select choice of aresholes and nothing ever changes things only get worse and worse.

          • Insulting people, shows your level of intellect, shows your level of moral standing, shows what kind of a person you are- none of which, is good. Instead why don’t you ask a person why they have an opinion listen to them and then tell them why you opinion is different. This is another reason why I hate the western world you have to tell people how to have a conversation. People has just lost respect for one-another it’s sad.

        • Mate.. I now live in Kenya.. with my Kenyan mrs… And Im the happiest motherfucker in town. Im in mombasa living the simple life (from south london originally) chilling on the beaches looking at the peaches & starting my own business. Life has never been better.. but now and again I have to return for some filthy debauchery & deep house – Best of both worlds… why not!

          • Have you seen the look at kenya, its a mess and full of poor people. Its a dump. Britain is 100x better than that crap of a country. better education, health care, ect…

          • I do think you are as dumb as they come Leila.. how do you know something is a dump while you too busy having your head up your ass.. get it out, look around, think and then… keep your opinion to yourself. Kenya is soooo beautiful, and I bet you most people in Nairobi/ Coast.. live a richer life than you will get to..

        • thats pathetic, how the fuck is england that bad? its not as if there is a bunch of drugies and dickheads walking around everywhere. you must have been that poor to be living in the rough areas to be seeing all of that then. but yeah Britain defiantly has the best music!

          • After living in England for 28 years, There definitely IS a lot of druggies and dickheads wandering the streets in a lot of places in the country. Some of my best friends are there, but the country is still full of arseholes!

          • You are the perfect example of what was described in that article.. the more you talk, the more that article seems true! I cant!! haahaha!!!

    • Nah mate thats not the case, thats just wankers who head of to ibiza etc thinking they’re lads when really they’re just pricks… im a brit and i moved to thailand to train and fight in muay thai and if you embrace their culture they will embrace you..

    • i bet your a knobhead aswell 🙂 where are you from? the usa? 😉 im from england but i live in ibiza and i havent turned into a fucking idiot 🙂

    • Not entirely true. Yes britain is a shit hole, no we don’t believe we are free (at least everyone I know, knows that), not everyone behaves either, yes the weather is shit 97% of the time, not everyone is on drugs, a black mask is certainly applicable when theres a Masked Ball event and we “have no sense of life” because all we do is work and get fuck all for it.

    • rave, hardcore, jungle, drum and bass, 2 step, dubstep…. i think that clearly defines our outlook. got it yet?

    • Oh yeah that you can find K and good one if you got friends from Italy 🙂 and yes.i subscribe your opinion notgoingback.i work woth them as an Entertainment Manager and i can say there are mediocre,especialy the ones 18-24 .They transform all beautiful places as Greek Islands,Malorca or Cyprus in pig nests with all old and shit masks and booze and so style in clothing,no style in their women and no style in the lads,puking and fighting all the time.Pirats 🙂

      • You sound like a racist. No-one I know in the UK is like that. I wonder what you are doing to attract the worst we have to offer?

    • Oh my god, I can’t tell if people here are joking or not… I live in a “third world” country, and not a day goes by I don’t miss the UK. Sure, the experience is great, but the UK is one of the best countries in the entire world for a plethora of reasons. Lots of people who are dissatisfied with their lives in their own country say silly things like they’d rather live in a country with a poorer standard of living, until they actually do, and they realise that sunshine and a beach does not equate to happiness, or a simple life.

      P.S. To “notgoingback”, I’ve been around the world and seen a lot of things, and I can guarantee you, wherever you are from, I’ve seen people from your country do some awful things. So stop generalising, it’s an incredibly ignorant thing to do, and if I was your compatriot, I’d be embarrassed for you, because you reflect the parenting and education system in your country diabolically.

    • you must be retarded to think that there are druggies and dickheads walking about and that Britain does not have normal people… you need to be educated, you are basically making yourself look like a fool! I certainly would not want to live in a 3rd world country that look like a dump, has shit education, health care and wars. Your clearly a cunt.

    • “with no sense of life you have all this money but all lack love.”

      Except those of us without money, I happen to love my country, even though it is run by arseholes and there is no work. This comment is racist, like saying * “all indians are dirty and eat nothing but curry”. You wouldn’t say that because it is offensive and prejudice.

      * please note, this is not my opinion, merely an example which in no way relates to my beliefs or morals.

  • Hehe, 2015 T-shirts? That can’t be right. I can tell you, since circa. November 2014, it’s been more than a bit quiet here in Ibiza. :

  • “Britain is a shithole?” What the hell are you people talking about? Have you ever been to London, perhaps the greatest cosmopolitan city in the world? Have you been to the lake district? The Scottish Highlands? Have you been to York, Warwick, Bath or Windsor? Have you watched United at Old Trafford or seen England play at Twickenham? Have to been to St. Andrews, the home of golf, or Wimbledon? Have you seen our castles and ancient churches? have you seen the Welsh countryside or walked on a Cornish beach? Fuck me, did you come to England and live in a shit flat in Bradford before moving away to brand the whole island a shit hole? In the last 10 years I’ve lived in Miami (2 years), San Diego (5 years) and London (3 years). All are fantastic places in their own right. If I had to live in one of them for the rest of my days, it’s London or San Diego in a dead heat.

  • Omg to all those people who are saying shit about Britain, back off and stop being a cunt. Britian is clearly a better country than most, not to brag but its true. Educate yourself before you write a massive paragraph about how you hate England.

    • There are a lot of people commenting about how great Britain is, when I
      suspect that they have very little comparison to compare to. All
      inclusive or festival/football holidays to Greece, Turkey, Croatia,
      Amsterdam and Germany don’t count as having travelled. You can’t come
      then with a comment like “England is the greatest country in the world.”
      You have no half clue about the world!

      Don’t get me wrong, we’re
      pretty spoilt when it comes to great music. The party atmosphere on
      weekends can be great as well, in a select number of cities and towns;
      though let’s be honest, most towns are D-rate shitholes full of
      fighting, vommiting Weatherspoon’s zombies spiling out of their grey
      high rises, which crave some street art.

      The countryside can be
      stunning, the history compelling and the city vibes often buzzing, but
      at the end of the day it’s just a small, overpopulated island, governed
      by wankers in a massive world which is just waiting to be explored.

  • The reason Britain is such a ‘shit hole’ is because of the ‘chav’ and ‘benefits’ culture. People would rather sit on their arses, drinking and getting off their faces than going out and making something of their lives, which inevitably leads to them having a miserable existence. I on the other hand went to uni (and actually worked, not just pissed it away) and now have a gorgeous house, in the country surrounded by decent, genuine people, a great job and a good social life (I’m 30). This isn’t intended to sound like i’m bragging, just that if you work your arse off you can make something of your life in this (‘shit-hole’) country. – Nowhere is perfect, it’s what you do with your own life that makes it (or brakes it.)

    I’ve also traveled a lot over the past few years and although I love many of the places I’ve visited, I certainly would not ever think about leaving my home as I love it. If you hate where you live, move! There’s plenty of amazing places in the UK….You just have to leave your county (not country!) to find them. You get out what you put in.

  • All yu peupel in the cawmments are crazy Ibiza is a type of puuppy dug they were bread tu catch rabbits n suff

  • I think people behave in such a manner because of what places like Ibiza have to offer. If the clubs there do nothing but promote a culture of excess, drugs, alcohol, sex etc then of course people are going to indulge get wasted and act appallingly. If Britain is so shit, how come every fucker in the world wants to come here?

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