26 year old, self-confessed ‘4:20 blaze-it master’ and expert Minecraft player, Alex Donaldson, was brought to tears today after missing the traditional time of the day for getting high.
“I had some fuck-mad acid the night before, my dealer told me it was normal LSD but it turned out to be that synthetic ‘party acid’ shit which meant I didn’t come down and get to bed til I sucked on a bag of lemons and watched 4 hours of a documentary on wool manufacturing,” explained Alex. “Although it turned out that wool manufacturing is quite gripping so when I eventually got to sleep it was 10am this morning and I forgot to set my alarm.”
“I’ve been looking forward to 4:20 all year,” he continued. “Every year I love to smoke loads of 4:20 Kush marijuana cigarettes and loiter in parks, slinging my dreads about, with a vacant look on my face and a frisbee in my hand.”
Alex claims his world came crashing down around him when he woke up from a dream about dwarves manning a submarine in the future to discover that it was one minute past the allotted 4.20 smoking time.
“I woke up at 4:21 man. I was on a brutal comedown from the shit acid, and all my mates where already at the park fingering trees without me,” wept Alex. “I’ve never felt so lonely, so I got out my hash oil and had a cheeky dab. As soon as I had a dab I wandered down to the park to meet my mates.”
“They where all sat in a circle making daisy chains, so I walked around greeting them saying “Happy 4:20, Smoke weed every day, Cream it bro, Snoop Dogg.”
“My friend Willow saw that I wasn’t my usual stoned self and when I told her it was because I missed 4.20 she said that I wasn’t to worry because her guru told her that time is circular and simultaneous and that every moment is 4.20 somewhere so to chill out and have a spliff.”
“I looked around at all the potential trees to go and suck off, and saw the one that I usually fornicate with, so I wandered over and we had a chat and smoked a 4:20 gangster dank blunt with her so the day wasn’t a total waste.”
