A man who is in receipt of a weekly dole pittance is still somehow able to afford weed, it has emerged.
Despite having to make ends meet on the meagre allowance that the government gives him for food, shelter and bills, 20-year-old PhD graduate, Jason Harris, still somehow manages to buy weed every week.
“It’s strange I’ll admit, but somehow after I’ve paid off bills or, pushed them back to a later date, I can still pick up a 50 bag with money to spare for smokes and cans,” described Jason. “Sure I go without eating food containing actual nutrition and never leave the house because bus fares would cripple me but at least I can still pick up a bag.”
Friends claim that they too, despite not having any real money to live healthily, start families or plan for the future, are able to accommodate purchases of class A drugs every weekend.
“It’s tough, some weeks I have to make really hard decisions about where my money will go, will I get a few pills or a bag of ket,” explained fellow highly educated dole recipient David Simmons. “Fortunately it’s possible, with a will and an addiction to drugs, to make your money go a long way.”
“So what if I don’t eat properly for a couple of days, at least I’ll be able to have a smoke up and living on crisps isn’t that bad for your health,” he concluded. “They at least contain plenty of my allowance of saturated fats.”
