Smoking e-cigarettes is a very effective way to avoid hearing Knife Party’s trashy brand of cheesy EDM, it has emerged.
Millions of people all over the world have taken up e-cigarettes in recent days after Knife Party member Rob Swire claimed to have temporarily lost his hearing due to vaping.
First time vaper, Annabelle Ivors, spoke to Wunderground about her decision to take up e-cigarettes, “Well I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life, I think it’s a disgusting habit. Vaping isn’t so bad though. It doesn’t make your breath smell like you took a shit in an ashtray then had it for dinner plus the strawberry vanilla cheesecake flavour is absolutely gorgeous.”
“It’s like you’re eating a strawberry vanilla cheesecake composed entirely of fragrant air,” she added.
“There’s also the added bonus of temporary hearing loss,” continued Annabelle, a 22-year-old dental nurse from London, England. “I’m going to Sziget Festival next month with a few of my friends and they really want to go and see Knife Party but I’d rather put my head in a blender than sit through two hours of two middle aged Australians going through an EDM midlife crisis, they should have stuck to drum and bass.”
“My plan is to smoke the absolute shit out of this e-cigarette for the next month and, hopefully, by the time the Knife Party gig comes around I won’t be able to hear a thing,” explained Annabelle. “If that doesn’t work I”ll probably just stick a couple of wasps in my ears and let them sting me so I swell up and can’t hear anything except for the gentle weeping of my own pain.”
According to experts, propylene glycol, an active ingredient in e-cigarette liquid, can lead to temporary or lasting damage to hearing, the chemical has now sold out in 90% percent of towns where Knife Party are due to play this summer.
