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July 14, 2015
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Man Wins Court Battle After Blaming Ecstasy Addiction On Pac-Man

A Los Angeles native has successfully managed to sue the makers of popular video game Pac-Man after claiming that the arcade classic caused him to become addicted to pills and techno.

37-year-old John Wallace, from Santa Barbara, had sought professional treatment for a drug habit over the course of 20 years, during which he ate pills in a dark room listening to pounding music several times a week.

“My client suffered years of emotional trauma owing to an addiction to drugs that was directly influenced by playing this horrific game as a child,” claimed Mr. Wallace’s lawyer. “Our young minds are so susceptible to influences that even a few hours of playing this game will alter our perception.”

Mr. Wallace’s lawyer claims that a teenaged John played the game for a few hours and thought to himself “hey running around a dark room eating little pills and listening to repetitive music is fun”.

“Then, as he aged and went to a nightclub where drugs were offered and he couldn’t help but respond in the way that Pac-Man dictated that he would,” he added. “

Lawyers representing Pac-Man refute the judge’s findings and claim that anyone who suggests that playing Pac-Man got people into dance music is “talking out of their hole”.

It is expected that John will be rewarded an estimated $5 million dollars in damages for the trauma and hardship he experienced.

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