In a bid to win the Colorado stoner’s vote, would be presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is set to dress up as the face of KFC, Colonel Sanders, and hand out free fried chicken at an upcoming political rally.
Sanders, who is a direct descendant of the KFC founder, sees the fried chicken as the perfect way to sway any stoners in Colorado who are yet to decide who they want as their Democratic candidate.
“If there’s one thing I know it’s that stoners love free food,” claimed Sanders earlier today. “So I’ve decided to go to my next rally in Colorado dressed as Colonel Sanders and hand out free fried chicken to all of the stoners, who make up about eighty percent of the state’s adult population.”
“If that’s not enough to put me ahead of that witch Clinton nothing will, apart from maybe handing out free weed, although I’m not sure how well a presidential candidate supplying citizens with free drugs will look to the rest of the world,” continued Sanders. “Probably not as bad as a presidential candidate promising to build a wall around Mexico or kill terrorists’ families but I don’t think anyone’s really listening to Trump anyway.”
According to stoner Michael Smith, he has no idea which Democratic candidate he should choose.
“Aw man, it’s way too early in the week to be asking me questions like that,” claimed Smith. “I mean they both seem equally horrible so I guess it doesn’t really matter which one of them wins. At the moment I’m leaning towards the chick because she has tits but I’m definitely still undecided.”
However, Mr Smith’s opinion soon changed after we told him about Sanders’ plans to hand out free chicken.
“There’s free chicken from the3 white haired guy? I’ll definitely vote for him if he gives me free chicken. That’s awesome man. I’ll smoke to that.”
According to latest opinion polls, Sanders’ chicken stunt may not be enough to ensure his candidate position, however, should he chose to include “gravy and fries” with the chicken he is “almost certain” to come out ahead of Clinton.
