A twenty four year old raver from South-West London has gone on record expressing his excitement about going out this weekend.
Trainee accountant, Jez Moxley, has been all over social media for the past few days claiming he “literally can’t wait to get crazy” and that he “is going to make a right plonker” of himself, in a bid to convince his friends he actually has fun at raves, as opposed to going into an instant K-Hole, which is what often happens.
“It’s going to be epic,” declared an excited Jez. “Tale OF Us are in town, those boys are proper sick. I reckon me and the chaps will go for a few pre-drinks, get a bit tipsy and head to the club for one a.m. giving us a couple of hours to get on it before they come on. I’ve got pills, md, coke, ket and poppers so am in for a good time. Anybody who wants to jump on the banter train; destination Lionel Messi Town, is free to do so. Choo, Choooo!”
Wunderground spoke to Jez’s brother-in-law, Steve, with regards to what will actually happen, “Let’s face it, that cunt will be out of his nut before we even make it to the club,” laughed Steve. “He comes out with all these drugs on him as though he is a proper boy – but always hits the ket so hard in the first pub he becomes a fucking zombie. We usually have to negotiate with the bouncers to let him into the club, and leave him leaned up against a wall until home time. Fuck knows how he can claim to have an enjoyable night when he doesn’t speak to anybody, drink anything, dance, move or respond. I have been to dozens of raves and festivals with him and he is always a lifeless mute within two seconds of being there.”
“I absolutely live for raves you know,” continued Jez. “There’s nothing quite like that feeling of unity, with everybody on the same stuff going through the same emotions, having the time of their lives, making friends and hugging each other. That is what life’s about. Save the rave.”
