Popstar DJ Calvin Harris, has been overheard asking his fellow EDM counterpart David Guetta “What’s a Fabric?”.
The recently closed nightclub has been a leading venue in pioneering underground dance music culture for almost two decades, and has received support from the likes of Sasha, Ricardo Villalobos and Jamie Jones in a bid to keep it open. However, when news of a campaign to save Fabric reached Harris, he was said to be “stood there like somebody had just asked him to solve a very challenging physics equation”.
“We were looking to get 100,000 signatures on a petition to save Fabric as well as the support from some highly influential people,” announced Daniel Parker of the Fabric PR team. “When we asked Harris if he would help save Fabric, he stared blankly back at me as though I asked him for some nude pics of his ex-bird Taylor Swift. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to knock my head off or if he simply didn’t understand the question. His security team moved me on in an instant”.
Wunderground managed to speak with Kerry Yang, the girl who overheard the conversation between Harris and Guetta, “It was surreal” Kerry told us. “Harris literally said to a very smiley Guetta, ‘what’s a Fabric?’ and that he thinks it’s a rare breed of Koala Bear and is willing to offer any support he can as he loves those little fuzzy fuckers. Guetta ignored the question and asked him what he really thought of Rihanna.”
Calvin Harris has since gone on to make an official statement, “I am very sad that Fabric has closed but think people should use all types of wholesale outlets to buy their materials. One place dominating the fashion design industry for so long seems unfair. I am releasing a new record soon with guest vocals from a very popular A-list hip hop, pop singer. Your eight year old niece will love it. You should all check it out. Have you seen my six pack? You should check that out too. Sincerely, Calvin.”
