A depressed alcoholic in Liverpool, England, has revealed that he is definitely more of a glass half empty type of person.
Martin Mellor made the admission in his local pub, moments after downing approximately half of his pint, earlier this afternoon.
“Just look at the fucking thing,” shouted a dejected Martin while pointing at his glass. “I’ve only just bought it and it’s already half empty. Me drinks disappeared quicker than a Wooly in a scrap with the Toffees. I don’t know why I even bother buying them in the first place,” he added before ordering another pint.
“I just can’t catch a fucking break mate,” he said glumly. “I rarely have a full glass, I tend to sip before I even leave the bar and my sips are pretty substantial, before I know it me glass is half empty. To be honest with you, I’d actually say I’m a glass full empty bloke,” he said before draining the rest of his cheap ale.
“Fuck it, I suppose there’s nothing I can do except order another pint,” claimed Martin. “I’m hoping to find the answer to my problems at the bottom of one of these glasses someday but, knowing this shit hole, all I’ll be likely to find is a fag butt or a dead spider. That’s life mate, I’m just taking it one drink at a time.”
Latest reports from the Merseyside area suggest that Mr Mellor has now progressed from being a “glass half empty” type of person to a “70Cl vodka bottle half empty” type of person, more on this as we get it.
