The world of Facebook has been left in total shock and wonderment after a girl closed her account without making an announcement about it beforehand.
Twenty five year old Jane Smith is believed to have become “fed up” with the constant narcissism and a bit “fucked off” reading the preachy status updates from her friends, constantly giving their “shit opinions” on parenthood, politics, sports, racism, feminism, veganism, work and the Great British Bake Off.
“I had enough and decided to close my account down,” Jane told us. “I can’t be arsed reading all the bollocks people moan about but, since I left, my phone has been beeping nonstop. All my friends thought I had died, asking why I didn’t let people know I was leaving Facebook. Personally, I didn’t think anybody would realise, but apparently what I’ve done is a huge deal and has pissed off many people. I just wanted a hassle free life but all my deletion has done is create havoc.”
Wunderground spoke to Claire, a friend of Jane and active Facebook user, “Jane’s behaviour is abnormal,” she moaned. “Everybody knows that when you leave Facebook, you have to announce it across a four day period, usually in about twenty status updates. It’s like a ‘going, going, gone’ sort of thing. You announce it, let people know why, slag off those who are not leaving, express your delight at the person you will become without it, start acting better than people, ask everyone to send their phone numbers to keep in touch, post a few more pictures, then leave.
“She’s out of order for not doing it the correct way. I think she only left the way she did because she’s an attention seeker. She knew by not quietly disappearing into the night, she would get tongues wagging. It always has to be about her, the self-centred bitch.”
