The new British five pound note has been declared a “wonder note” after it’s ability to play music was exposed by everyone on the internet.
A series of videos showing the notes amplifying music directly from a record have appeared on Facebook and other social media sites in recent days, prompting people to claim that the five pound note is “the greatest note ever made”.
Wunderground spoke to Andrew Bathingsplonk, from the Royal Mint, “We’re delighted with the new five pound note and the public’s reaction to it,” explained Mr Bathingsplonk. “With the pound performing so poorly on the international market we decided that we better have some use for the notes when the pound becomes completely useless.”
With Sterling reaching an all time low on the currency exchange Mr Bathingsplonk explained that all new money produced by the Mint will have multiple uses.
“Pretty soon the pound won’t be worth the paper it’s printed on,” confirmed Bathingsplonk. “That’s why we’ve decided to make them out out of a super cheap, but very durable plastic, all the money will be multi purpose and help Britain through it post Brexit, Mad Max-esque, phase.”
“The new ten pound note, when released, will be completely waterproof and with some very simple origami, the instructions will be on the note, they can be folded into handy water containers,” continued Bathingsplonk. “The twenty pound note, which will have a slightly different chemical make up to the rest of the notes, will make excellent fuel, with each note having the ability to burn for around five hours.”
“But the real piece de resistance is the the fifty pound note,” he revealed. “It will be so durable that you’ll be able to build walls with it, tile bathrooms with it and insulate your attic with it, it really will be the note of a thousand uses. I can’t wait for it’s release and, as an extra bonus, all of our notes are excellent for sniffing cocaine. Just not much use for buying it.”
