A man who was walking around for an entire night with a crusty ring of cocaine around his nostril apparently made the hilarious claim that he was “saving it for later” every time it was pointed out to him.
The incident happened last weekend at a house party, where guests claimed to be disgusted and appalled by the man’s behaviour.
“This wasn’t your average, teenage, anything goes house party,” claimed host Brian McKenzie. “I was having a surprise party for my parents fortieth wedding anniversary, the place was full of neighbours, aunties, uncles and cousins, even my ninety two year old nan was there. I knew I shouldn’t have invited my mates around but I never would have heard the end of it if I didn’t.”
“I should have pulled the plug when Gaz showed up with six cans of Stella, a bottle of Buckfast and bottle of whiskey,” revealed McKenzie. “I tried to tell him that it wasn’t that kind of party but he just laughed at me and said not to worry because he’s be on his best behaviour. I’ve known the cunt my whole life so I have a pretty good idea what his best behaviour is and it didn’t fill me full of confidence.”
“The first hour or two went quite well, nobody was too messy and I was beginning to think all of the oldies might be gone before things got out of hand,” he continued. “That’s when I saw Gaz walking around with the big crusty white ring around his nose, I told him and he just said ‘savin’ it for later mate’ and walked off to offer my uncle Tom a bump.”
“Could have been worse I suppose, Tom took the bump and ended up having a great night.”
Sarah Smith, McKenzie’s partner, claimed that their friend’s behaviour was totally unacceptable and he will never be invited into their house again.
“What a fucking div,” she said angrily. “Luckily all of the people at the party who were over fifty just thought it was some kind of weird hipster fashion statement but he could of got us into a lot of trouble. I’m just glad they’d all left before he got the ket out, got naked and took a shit in the back garden, that definitely would have given the game away.”
