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May 15, 2017
1 min read

Producer from Swansea Spent Last 2 Months Perfecting the Perfect Bassline only to Realise that No One Cared.

Music producer perfects bassline but no one cares

Swansea Producer, Alan Carter, has been left feeling disenfranchised as he has come to the hard realisation that his target audience doesn’t care about the effort he puts into making tracks.

“It’s almost like no one even notices the amount of effort I’ve put in, they just hear a ‘banging beat’ and continue to flop about like demented lemmings.”
Carter, who claims to make all his sounds “from a sine wave” and “never uses sample packs”, is left with the feeling that “literally no one gives a shit”.
“I’m not even sure why I do it”, claims Carter, “the only people who notice any level of artistry is other producers, so it’s basically one massive circle jerk”.
Carter recalls showing his latest track to his girlfriend for feedback, a track he had spent weeks ensuring he had the correct level of attack on the envelope of the mid bass oscillator, to which her response was “That sounds cool, what are we having for dinner tonight?”.
Alan, quite rightly outraged by the response, was left scratching his head as to why she didn’t even pick up on the dynamic shift around bar 64.
In response to this, Mr Carter claims to have started “wapping” tracks together, using noises from various household implements and old Skrillex basslines, “just to show the fuckers”.
However, his plan backfired as interest in his music went up after this change.

Mr Carter is now pursuing a career in accountancy.
If you or someone you know has been affected by producer unappreciation, please call the fan negligence hotline 020 FAT BASS

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