A drug mule was left pleasantly surprised after having a “thoroughly enjoyable experience” while smuggling drugs, across an international border, up his bum.
Alan Vaticy, whose name is an anagram of anal cavity, claims to have had a wonderful journey between Colombia and Madrid despite having almost half a kilo of cocaine concealed in his anus.
“I’ve been in the mule business for quite a while now and I have to say, that was definitely the most enjoyable trip I’ve ever made,” Vaticy told us earlier. “Normally, I conceal the drugs on my body or swallow them, I don’t know why but I had a weird feeling about this trip so I decided to try something new and stuck them up my bum.”
“I was expecting it to be extremely traumatic and uncomfortable but I was actually quite pleasantly surprised,” he continued. “I’d go as far as to say it was a rather nice experience. I’m kind of excited to get home and see what else I can get in there if I’m being perfectly honest. Today was definitely the beginning of the rest of my smuggling career.”
“Now that I’ve done it, I don’t know why I never tried it before. When you think about it; the anal cavity is basically the body’s hidden compartment, it makes so much sense to hide stuff there,” claimed the mule. “I suppose I always thought that only gay lads use their anus as a storage facility but I double checked with porn when I got home and I’m still one hundred percent straight, I feel like such an ass for never filling my ass before.”
