A whistleblower within the clubbing industry has revealed that the term “free in before eleven” is actually a secret code for “tickets selling shite”.
The news has left the clubbing industry in turmoil, with many promoters believed to be “terrified” that other trade secrets or codes may be leaked.
“Is nothing sacred these days?” asked a clearly distressed Anthony Barker from Slough. “How has this been leaked? Someone from within the promoters circle, a circle based entirely on trust, has leaked this news. You just never know who you can rely on these days. This is the worst day for clubbing since my mate Barry shit his pants on the Hacienda’s dance floor in 1997.”
“Free in before eleven is a tried and tested way of getting people into a night that nobody really wants to go to,” continued Barker, owner of Barking Mad, Slough’s fourth biggest old school club night. “I’ve pretty much used it at every one of my events since I started promoting in 2008 and it’s kinda worked at least half the time.”
“People just can’t resist the word free,” claimed the promoter. “Even if they’ve never even heard of the DJ or have no interest in the genre, once they think it’s free they’ll be queueing up in their ten’s outside the venue. Last month, I had Judge Jules in to play a 90s trance set, I’d sold no tickets at all so I put up free in before eleven on the event page on Facebook and, in the end, over forty people came, it was the busiest night I’ve had since I offered a free drink to the first fifty people through the door.”
According to sources, the term “special guest” could be the next phrase exposed by the whistleblower, with speculation that it actually means “some bloke you’ve never heard of” rife in the industry.
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