An older guy who was enjoying himself at a rave surrounded by teenage hipsters has left his fellow party goers “totes mortified” and “fearing for their futures.”
“He looked so out of place and embarrassing,” claimed one party goer,” I mean who still goes to raves in their 30s? It was like seeing your dad skateboarding…completely weird.”
Another person who attended the rave claimed, “The guy was off his face on drugs and sweating all over all the people who were trying to stand against the wall looking cool and mysterious. He totally ruined the vibe with his enthusiasm and lust for life. What a fucking loser.”
Reports indicate that the older man, who was dressed in a sweaty unbuttoned shirt and had a necktie wrapped around his head, had been out celebrating a promotion at his secure, adequately paid job when he showed up at the after hours rave.
It is believed that the majority of people who complained about his presence did so because they were faced with the dawning realisation that one day they won’t be young and hip anymore and may well end up being the embarrassing older person at a rave.
“It brought me face to face with my own mortality,” admitted one raver,” I literally stared into the eyes of death,” continued the poetry student somewhat over-dramatically.
“He was just looking around at everybody..”, added someone with a deep vee neck tshirt,.”which distracted the rest of us who were diligently facing forward, waiting for the sign to cheer and wave our arms for 4 bars. The old guy just seemed more interested in spontaneously mirroring our movements, and shaking hands.”
Reports later emerged that the ‘old guy’ had regaled people outside with tales of how ‘him and his mates started all this…years ago, before the Police even knew what was going on’, and about how ‘1 fucking pill would last you all night’, or some such impossible bullshit.
Pierman Shergar, 20, who is halfway through a 65 thousand pound degree in Music Software Updates Journalism and Deep House Blogging, captured the bewilderment of the crowd when he concluded “..I doesn’t sound that good – none of them even had cellphones – what’s the point of being in a crowd of 10,000 people at a rave, if there’s no one to Share it with ?”, he genuinely puzzled, before completing a level on Candy Crush during a formulaic breakdown.