American EDM fan, Stacy Adamson, has woken up today to the lucky news that she has been awarded the princely sum of one million dollars.
The Boston native was in work this morning when she received the good news in an email from the Qatar Foundation. The generous foundation, in association with the U.S.A/WEST AFRICAN UNION ANTI FRAUD/POVERTY ERADICATION PROGRAM, have allocated the money to, Ms. Adamson, as part of their world wide campaign to eradicate fraud and poverty.
Adamson(25), spoke of her life changing windfall, “I can’t believe it, it still hasn’t sunk in,” claimed the fortuitous millionaire. “I had been out partying at an awesome EDM event at the weekend and I think I may have overdone it on the Molly a little,” she continued.
“I had the fear real bad this morning. I literally had to drag myself out of my bed to make it in on time,” she explained, “I was sitting at my desk worrying about whether or not I had embarrassed myself at the weekend and feeling bad to have woken up this morning with the unexplained taste of semen in my mouth so finding out I had been awarded a million dollars really brightened up my day.”
“The first thing I done was tell my boss to shove his job up his ass. Then I called all my friends to gloat about how amazing all of this money is going to make me,” she said triumphantly. “Some of them told me that they thought it was a scam but I was like ‘You’re just freaking jealous of me because I’ve become successful and I’m totally hot.’ They can go fuck themselves now as far as I care, I’ll make new friends now that I’m moving up in the world,” she said pompously.
“I’ve sent the Qatar Foundation all my details, just silly things like my mothers maiden name and the big long numbers from my bank statement. So I should have my money within three to five working days. I’m going to see if someone will lend me some money between now and then so I can start living the life I deserve,” she said hopefully.
Despite numerous attempts to contact the entirely legitimate sounding Qatar Foundation and the U.S.A/WEST AFRICAN UNION ANTI FRAUD/POVERTY ERADICATION PROGRAM, Wunderground has so far been unable to get a response on Ms. Adamson’s cash prize but we wish her all the best with her newfound wealth.
