Opera Nightclub, Atlanta, Georgia, was evacuated during an Aly & Fila show after a fire broke out on the venue’s roof.
Up to seven units of the Atlanta Fire Department battled the blaze for eight hours before it was eventually brought under control at ten o’clock this morning. Fire chiefs are currently inspecting the premises in order to establish the source of the fire. Although they have not yet released any statement on the matter, early indications point to a malfunctioning pyrotechnics cannon which was used in an attempt to counteract the monotonous nature of the music .
Stacy Marsden, an eye witness, spoke of events inside the nightclub, “The show was totes amazeballs! There were lasers, fire breathers, fire cannons, it had everything, Aly & Fila are like the best at EDM.”
The fire is said to have started after the faulty cannon shot flames twelve feet into the air, igniting decorative panels that were hanging from the ceiling, “It looked so cool, I actually thought it was part of the show,” explained Ms. Marsden. “Wouldn’t that be so cool? If they did actually start the fire as part of the show? I mean no one has done that yet, it would really make people stand back and take notice if they did,” she added cluelessly.
Martin Boardman, a bartender at the club, gave his account of the incident, “Well I was just glad I wasn’t going to have to listen to that goddamn rubbish for the rest of the night, seriously it sounded like a robot raping a keyboard. I really don’t know how these guys get away with this crap,” he joked, “I seen the whole thing happen, the fire spread so quickly. It was really scary.”
“I was screaming at people ‘Get out!! The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!’ but instead of evacuating the place they just shouted “We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn’ back at me,” he explained. “Honestly those guys in there were so fucking stupid. It’s a miracle nobody was killed.”
Emergency services have revealed that there were no major casualties, with a small number of people being treated for smoke inhalation. Unfortunately a number of actual music fans are said to have been left in a severe mentally traumatized condition after over exposure to Aly & Fila’s music.
