Popular London nightclub, Fabric, has announced plans for an amazing giveaway that will see clubbers who attempt to film DJ sets on their phones rewarded with their very own punch in the face.
The punch, which will be delivered by the burliest members of the door staff team, is exclusive to Fabric with lucky winners being able to collect their prize on the night.
“Anyone can avail of the offer,” explained Fabric spokesperson Amanda Holness. “To claim your prize all you need to do is start filming the gig on your phone and a member of our door staff will find you and instantly reward you with an on-the-spot prize of a punch to the face. Winners will be able to specify between three different types of punches, an uppercut, a jab or a hook.”
“The offer will be limited to one punch per person,” continued Amanda, “although people can avail of more than one punch if they simply start to film the gig again. Clubbers who wave their phone in the way of clubbers behind them will have a higher chance of winning a free punch than those who film discreetly.”
“I can’t wait to claim my free punch,” enthused Brian Harris, a regular sharer of shaky handed gig vids on Youtube. “In the past all I’ve ever gotten has ranged from a disappointing polite tap on the shoulder to a light shove but never have I gotten a punch. It’ll be such a thrill to finally get some big knuckles mashed into my stupid face.”
An overall winner will be decided on each night of the promotion with that lucky person getting punched in their very own throat and having their phone stepped on repeatedly before being whisked out the back door of the club to take a plunge into a waiting wheelie bin.
Anyone wearing protective headgear or a gum shield will be asked to remove it before receiving their prize. Medical attention is not included as part of the offer but will be grudgingly provided for the budding videographers in the event of whinging.
phone theft is the no 1 reason for police cracking down on clubs ( yes even more than drugs ) – simple to stop – clubs should ban all camera phone use – and this should be self policed as it is in berlin
Your site is still utter dog shit. Cheers.
Anyone who has to name themselves “Big Man” has an inferiority complex